Love Chronicles: I'd Rather He Love Me Back

*Sigh* The days of lying to myself are OVER! lol <--- feels good to say that.
For years I've made excuses for what this fool is doing, how he has no other options and blah blah blah, but those days are over... He's an idiot. yes I'm talking about POTS! lol, i'm only witholding his name for privacy reasons...

One of my ex boyfriends brought up a very good point. He said "you lowering yourself for a nigga"... and u know what, he was right. I did lower myself for a "nigga". But it was only under the pretenses that i was bending so that I could pick him up with me. :) I had good intentions. However, I broke my back for nothing. I have so many options in life, so many things to do with MY LIFE! Why run behind someone with only 2 options? Lets just be real, There are only 2 ways out the game when u playing it as hard as he is. *shrug*

But yeah, the last straws were pulled today, and I've decided that I absolutely CANNOT keep going in circles with this guy.
yes I know..what about "Operation Cold Turkey" well I've been cheating. Slipped up and called the very first day..and since then I've been lying to myself *shrug*

But I've also been praying and asking GOD for the strength. Well tonight I got my answer. Not gonna say what it was b/c my talk with my Lord was between Him and I. :)

Just know that my future doesn't involve Pots.

Which is fine with me. Lemme tell you. I let him put me on the back burner so many times. Made excuses for his behavior. Convinced myself that he really did 'love" me, but honey actions speak louder than words, and he wasn't showing me nothing. But I still stayed..i know, like an idiot. All my bad.

But now, I'm just like hey, if that's what u want, do you. I'm gonna do me. And after all this bullshit I've been through, I find a HUGE comfort in knowing that..

He will NEVER
ever,

ever,

Have another like me. :) I know that I put my all into this, and when u put ur all into something that only thing that results from it is Beauty, Greatness, and Lots of Love!!!!!

Blood, sweat, and tears were put into this, luckily for me, my body produces a lot of all of that so I'm not losing out on ANYTHING ELSE! cuz Lawd knows I gave up enough of myself for him. Too much of myself for him.

Ask me would I do it again??

of course!!! I would LOVE to LOVE ANOTHER as much as I loved him....

only thing that will change...

Well I'll make sure the next one LOVES ME BACK! AND SHOWS IT!!!

Luckily for him I'm a forgiving person. And I will never stay down for too long. Unfortunately for me, the saga continues. lol, Since I know POTS obviously ISN'T the man for me...Who is the guy for me?

Am I looking? <--- Nope
but I'm very anxious for what the future holds for me! I see the LIGHT!!!!! <--- but I'm not sure how much of that light is coming from being exhausted. lol

Chile lemme take my ass to sleep while I'm up all extra late b/c I'm so excited for tomorrow! And no, nothing special is happening, I just know that tomorrow is gonna bring me one step closer to my destiny. Whatever my calling is in life, and the man of my dreams!!!

Let me halt...lol, I need to learn patience.

“All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope”