Ghosts, Skeletons, and Goons

Vivid images of my mother walking away
Replay in my mind
Night and day
The tricks she turned
The tips of her fingers burned
From that pipe
That she interminably
Hit….daily

And my cousin
Making me perform acts
Of fellatio on his 11 year old dick
When I was only five
Threatening that if I ever told
He would bury me alive

And more thoughts of my father
Kissing me
And grinding me
And looking at me
Too sensuously,
Too seductively
Too much like I was a woman
His woman

I grew up in the dope house
Cause my daddy was a dealer
And my mama was…. shit still is the fiend
So I never knew love
And I learned not to be seen.

When I go to sleep
I dream
About my evil stepsisters
And yes there were two,
But I also had a wicked stepmother too.
I used to read a lot to escape this cold hard world,
Growing up I was a very isolated little girl.

I was easily manipulated and deceived
Maybe even a little naïve
To think that all households
Were ran like mine.
All parents were like mine.

I got taunted and tormented
Nearly drowned because she
Sat on my head,
Nearly died because the other one
Tried to suffocate me with a pillow
While I was asleep in my bed.

Traumatized by life at an early age
But I was imprisoned in my own home
Constantly locked up like an animal in a cage

The mental, physical, sexual and emotional abuse
That I suffered through
Only proved to make me stronger
And more resilient
Than the rest
My strength and sanity have surpassed;
The most trying of tests.

But I will never play the victim
I’m a Survivor like Destiny’s Child
I just want a nice night of rest
Every once in a while

But the boogie man of my life’s past
Is waiting to take me
Under my bed,
And the ghosts of my former life
Are fucking with me
Perturbing me inside my head,
And skeletons are rattling in my closet
Making noise at all hours of the night
Got me scared
Shaken with fright,
And when my eyes finally do slam shut
It’s already daylight…

So it’s…

Another night
Of tossing and turning
Afraid of sleep
Because ghosts
Of my past
Haunt me unceasingly

By:Modia Evans