Love Chronicles: The Sweetest Torture

Dear POTS(gonna stop callin u that soon, it's something like a self-fulfilling prophecy)

Boy do you realize just how much I love your crazy, selfish ass? I mean seriously do u know? Yeah u know. Whenever I pour out my feelings you can NEVER look me in the eye. You're afraid. ;) <--- But that's ok. I only want to protect you, not break your heart. I promise. I'll just lock it up in my soul for safekeeping.
Anywho, we just got off the phone( I absolutely adore our morning conversations, they really lift my spirits) but there is still so much I have to say to you. Funny b/c as much as I feel I can say to you, whenever we talk all the "important" things I was gonna say, or the prepared scoldings I withhold from you are all of a suddenly irrelevant, and we just kinda flow.
So, you're completely like the smartest idiot I know. :), Very intelligent, but you make some IGNORANT decisions. Boy I tell you, can lead a goat to some water but ya can't make em sip. <--- Oh I still love u though. So you asked me, why I'm still around. I gave you a really vague answer this morning, but lets cut to the chase. I'm around because:
1) You impress me, nevermind the fact that you don't have a degree and alladat, but u genuinely are intelligent regarding matters other than love.
2) You are the EXCEPTION and not the Standard, a different breed of guys as far as ur "occupation" is concerned, and from day one you've EXPECTED nothing but the BEST from me. Never tried to mislead me, or use me for personal gain, we've just always "been".
3) I see the potential in you that you don't even see in yourself ;). Lets use that Entrepreneurial spirit in ways that will lead you to retirement
4) We're more than what we even think we are. We're penpals, good friends, lovers, and Kindred Hearts <--- We're a lot of PLURAL, I'm trying to get us on a SINGULAR tip(Yes Love, that means ONE) ;) , Do yahearme?
5) Lastly, I didn't choose to fall in love with you. It just happened, and I'm kinda glad it happened... =), I love u enough to try and work through any hardships that may fall before us. But only if it's meant to be, so if after all this you still don't know WHY I'm still around then tell me u want me gone. I can't love nobody that don't want me to love them. I'm woman enough to move on without hating you, and acting a plum fool, I'll accept whatever fate GOD has in store for US. I'm just grateful for the chance to have ever been a special part of your life. *Muah*

Back to this "Sweetest Torture" thingy, b/c I've already had to explain it once, I'll do it again. Loving you is sweet. Having you is sweeter, but not being able to possess your heart(which don't belong to any OTHER woman btw) is torturous. It's like not eating for days and having a cupcake held up to your face and being told not to eat it. So close, yet forbidden. But not from me. I think it's funny that you are vulnerable, or more open to women that mean nothing to you. Yet when it comes to me, I get the "emotional walls". Pain is NEVER an easy feeling to deal with, and that's in ANY form. But when will YOU realize that I am not out to cause you suffering? Screw the cars, and the house, and the perfect career and alladat other CRAP that doesn't mean a thing when I die. The stuff that won't remember me when I pass, those material things, that cannot say anything about me besides how wealthy I was on earth. I want you, and your love for me to tell my life story. Our love could live on FOREVER through the legacy of our children, and grandchildren and etc... if we allowed it to. POTS ------> My Sweet Prince Of The Streets as strong as you are, as dependable,charismatic, intelligent, BEAUTIFUL. Your fear of CHANGE makes you WEAK! I AM NOT THOSE OTHER WOMEN! I do not care about your RICHES! Your cars, diamonds, houses or BLING! I'm able to see through the EXTERIOR therefore I LOVE the INTERIOR MORE!

I don't need you to grind to feed me, your money don't impress me none, I make my own cash. I aint like them, you say you know this, but yet and still you treat me like I'm some sac chasing, money loving hoodrat that wanna live off u for the rest of my life??? Chile kill that noise. It's PATHETIC how much you try and run away from the MAN in you. Running the streets like some wayward 19 year old BOY!

And after all this, i still love ur confundled ass. But I'm NOT waiting around for you to SHOW me you love me too. I'm gonna let you do you, and I'll do me, but honey don't get mad if someone else beat u to the treasure chest and mark the unclaimed territory. I love you still, and we'll always be friends no matter the land or water that divides us. You got something of mine that I'm gonna need back soon.

What is it? Glad you asked.
You have my <3.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." ‑ 1 Corinthians 13:11